I heard we made out
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
