When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
