I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
