i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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