she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The struggles of a small town man whore
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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