I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My penis needs a shock collar
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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