I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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