the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
