wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
