So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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