i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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