yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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