Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
