2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Holy shit dude........stairs
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
