gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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