Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
