bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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