White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
