Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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