David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize