I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
