you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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