I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
