hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
