Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize