We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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