I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
