Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
