Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
