We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
