Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize