I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
please come you make the beer taste better
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
