that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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