How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
