it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
