nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize