Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
