whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Send help, water and tortillas.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
