Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
