Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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