woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
