Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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