Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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