thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
