Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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