I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
