I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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