Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
