Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Randomize
