we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
