I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize