that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
