Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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