butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
