atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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