Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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