I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
