But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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