Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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