i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
