Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
