I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
