call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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