arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
